After reading a few chapters of Sarah Knight's 'The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k', I felt inspired to write something a little more personal than the usual beauty post. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I spend the majority of my life worrying and over-thinking things that are completely out of my control. I've tried all sorts of coping mechanisms and medication but the thing that has helped me the most is myself. I'm slowly teaching my mind how to deal with things in better ways, and here are a few things I like to tell myself when I'm in a bad place.
STOP BOTTLING THINGS UP INSIDE
One thing that I'm extremely guilty of is letting things fester inside of me instead of expressing how I feel about something, simply because I'm scared of what the outcome will be. Doing this will only make you feel worse in the long run as not only will it be constantly playing on your mind and effecting your daily life, but it will also get to the point that you can't won't be able to hold it in anymore and you will just explode. I've learnt this from experience and have began teaching myself to talk more because the end result is never as bad as you built it up to be in your head. If I'm going through a bad patch with my anxiety, I tend to shut down and distance myself from people and try dealing with everything on my own which shouldn't be the case. Having friends and loved ones that understand you as a person and know how your brain works can be so helpful as you know you're not going to be judged by telling them how you are feeling at that moment in time.
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE
As cliché as this sounds, life is too short to waste time doing things you don't want to be doing. Your life is only for you and you have the right to decide what you do with your time. Stop feeling guilty about saying no. If you don't want to do something for any reason, that's your choice. If you're having a bad day and want to stay indoors with minimal contact with the outside world, then you do just that. As Sarah Knight mentioned in her book, stop spending money on the things that aren't making you happiest. If you don't want to go on that night out because you'd rather save your money for something more important, you don't need to feel bad about doing so. There's been so many occasions when I've said yes to something because I've been too worried about hurting someone's feelings or what people will think of me, but it's better to just be honest rather than feeling uncomfortable in a situation and making yourself feel unhappy. You're the most important one in these situations.
you cannot change the past, or control the future
Anyone who suffers from anxiety will know just how exhausting it is when you lay in bed wide awake not being able to switch off as you're worrying and overthinking the most minor things. On so many occasions, I've worked myself up by creating scenarios in my head that are very unlikely to ever happen. I'll worry that I've set my alarm to PM instead of AM and have to check it countless amounts of times until I'm satisfied that I'm definitely not going to sleep through and miss work in the morning [it sounds ridiculous when I write it down, but these are the kind of things my brain will focus on]. I'll worry about mistakes that I've made in the past or feel guilty about the way I spoke to someone a week ago when I was stressed about something. It's such a draining process. It's important to teach yourself that life is about making mistakes and you cannot change something that has already happened. Stop letting these things consume you and focus on the things in life that you do have control over.
YOU CAN't PLEASE EVERYONE, SO DON'T TRY TO
I used to spend my life worrying about what people thought of me, but now I couldn't care less. Obviously this comes with exceptions such as family, friends and relationships, but in general, I try not to let those that don't bring anything to my life bother me. Life isn't about pleasing everyone around you. There could be certain things about your personality that one person might hate, but another may absolutely adore. There could be people that can't stand to be around you but others that would do anything to spend time with you. We're not put on this earth to all get on. Just be yourself but be polite with it at the same time and then no-one can say anything. You'll probably find that half of the time you're actually being paranoid and these people aren't actually thinking about you as much as you're thinking about them.
What do you do to stop yourself over-thinking about the things you can't control?